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In 2022, a friend of mine told me about subliminals.

For those of you that know me, you’d know 2021 was objectively the worst year of my life. If there has ever been a “year” that could have killed me, then it was 2021.

This particular friend had largely been a part of my year, and to give him enough credit — he was the only one that consistently stayed with me during those times.

In January 2022, fed up of me begging him for a “way out,” he gave me the magical knowledge of subliminals.

He claimed he had been using them to get clear skin for about seven months and that they worked. Only one precaution — drink a lot of water and get enough sleep.

As if that’s not the hardest part about my existence. Drinking water and I — we’re not exactly lovers. (Also, in hindsight, maybe the clear skin he achieved through “subliminals” was just a result of drinking all that water and getting proper sleep.)

Anyway, I had this “forbidden” wish (which I still do, by the way), so I started using subliminals. They didn’t work. At all. But I guess we can pin it on me not drinking water.

What subliminals did do for me is something bigger.

In one of the video’s comments, I saw a few people speaking of one particular YouTuber. They spoke like she was a known face — unfortunately, I didn’t know her.

I Googled the name. Landed on a few of her videos. Watched it — The Law of Attraction.

Up until this point, I genuinely thought the law of attraction was “unspoken rules to be more attractive to men” — and since I was never into that kinda stuff, I had never dived deeper. But now we were slipping down a rabbit hole.

One thing led to another and then to another and then to another, and soon enough I was consuming Sammy Ingram, Hyler, Neville Goddard, Marissa, Kimberly — every single person that exists in that part of YouTube.

New Chapter Unlocked: Discovering Manifestation.

I’ll be honest, this was mumbo jumbo for me. Woo woo. These guys were claiming the tooth fairy is real — well, they weren’t — but that’s how it felt.

Four years later, here’s what I think about the whole manifestation thing:

1. Is it Real?

I really want to be “different” and say no, but the truth is — they do work. Just not how you think they do.

The question coming up is — what do I have to show for my claim? The answer, unfortunately, is nothing.

The law of assumption believes that anything you “assume” with conviction becomes true. We’re all a self-fulfilling prophecy. You attract what you believe in. And I have reasons to believe in this.

Ever since I was a kid, I have believed I’m a great speaker — which I may or may not be — I’ll never know.

This belief has led me to be extremely confident about my ability to do interviews. I have this thing where I say, “I have never failed an interview.” Before my first ever interview, I was scared, but I remembered how good of a speaker I am and said, “I can never fail an interview.”

I have, in fact, never failed an interview. I have fucked up A LOT in interviews. In every single one of my interviews, if I’m being honest. But every single time — I’ve made it.

I don’t know if it’s because I am an excellent speaker or because organisations are in desperate need of manpower. I don’t know if it’s natural — but it’s the truth. I have never failed an interview.

I’m not even confident about interviews anymore. My only hope now is the lifelong statement — I’ve never failed an interview.

When I first started following pageantry, I was fifteen. I didn’t understand organisations or national directors — I just knew queens.

When I did discover national organisations, I was very, very scared of Glamanand and Nikhil Anand. I will talk about that some other time, but somewhere I knew it in my heart that Glamanand would be my entry into the world of pageants.

A lot of years later — I started working as a content writing intern at Glamanand.

I didn’t even like them at that point. I’m not even kidding.

Another weird thing about me and my “beliefs” is how — for no apparent reason — I classify men.

At my first job, we had a hybrid working policy. I met my fellow new joiners on a Teams call and immediately rejected three out of the four men mentally. I didn’t have a reason. I didn’t even see them. I just decided they were bad people.

They were, in fact, bad people. Predators, if you will. They are responsible for how I have this narcissistic belief that I have never been wrong about ANYTHING.

The other more important things that I want to manifest have not manifested into my reality. And the simple reason is — I don’t think it’s all that possible for me.

2. Is it Easy?

Well, kinda. I mean, it depends.

Sometimes you can have a thought ONCE and it can come true. Other times you can rampage for thirteen years and have no movement.

The truth is — to start believing something that you very sternly believe is impossible — nope, that’s not easy. That has never been easy.

And that’s what this whole thing is about. You’re a captive in your own mind — that’s the reality.

3. Which Manifestation Guru to Watch?

Personally, I like the ones that make a video and then disappear for like eight months. Because that’s proof that it’s not a business to them. Their videos still have like a gazillion views, mind you.

The ones that post consistently? Daily, weekly, have premium subscriptions where they reveal bigger secrets? Nope.

Very honestly, my favourite one on YouTube is Sammy. I’m probably saying this because bitch manifested it. She does say she’s my favourite YouTuber.

Outside of YouTube (also on YouTube, that is), one of the people that I look up to the most is Steve Harvey. I know — how is everything in my life connected? I will never know, but this is again another man that is present both in the world of pageants and in the world of manifestation.

So anyway, Steve Harvey has this show where he does weird things — and that’s what he is known for. But in one of the episodes he talks about “The List.” Not the Epstein kind lol — but a list of your desires. 300.

You’re supposed to read this list every morning and every night and things start coming true.

Do I do it religiously? No.

Do things that I have written still come true?

Yes 😭 I accidentally may have been responsible for Femina Miss India getting pushed by more than half a year in 2024.

4. Tools of Manifestation (And Which Ones I Believe Work the Best)

Like I said, there are none. You need belief.

If you’re delulu enough to think drinking turmeric milk will do this — it will.

For me, this “tool” can be Steve Harvey’s list of 300 desires.

Or it can be just thinking something is true in the future.

I don’t know. There’s nothing that can be defined as a tool. There are no rules.

If you think you’re supposed to wake up at three and fart three times to manifest three million dollars — doing that will manifest three million dollars.

This is the only thing that actually follows “to each their own.”

5. Free Will

This is debatable in the world of manifestation, but free will isn’t a thing.

If free will was a thing, we wouldn’t have perceptions of people. If free will was a thing, we wouldn’t need PR.

Thinking free will is real is like thinking celebrities really are “that nice.” Like no — that gorgeous actor that does patriotic movies cannot be a predator — we think this because their PR makes us believe in this image of theirs.

If free will was not supposed to be trifled with — we would not have PR.

Again, this is a universe that I have tapped into — but knowing the vastness of the universe itself, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be enlightened by the full truth of manifestation. My stand is that it’s real — and that’s never going to change. I might not know how to master it. I might not know the rules, the science, or the exact mechanics behind why some beliefs shape reality while others don’t move an inch. But I do know that the mind is not passive in the life we live. It participates. And maybe, for now, that partial understanding is all I’m meant to have — access without complete control, awareness without full mastery.