So, I was having a great day until I saw this exact post from Paris Paloma’s YouTube channel.
At first I was like lol that can’t be right, so I went to my most trusted gossip partner — ChatGPT — to bitch about it.
But wouldn’t you know it. It’s true.
Paris fricking Paloma is NOT a 65-year-old grandma with 17 failed albums, three divorces, a candle shop in the woods, and one international success.
She is, in fact, a 26-year-old with ONE album — Cacophony — THAT HAS THE SONG “Labour” ON IT.
I am dying on so many levels right now I could genuinely die. This is not exaggerated. What do you even mean?
Who the fuck makes a song like “Labour” on their first shot?
That song sounds like it was discovered carved into the walls of a burning cathedral. It sounds like generational female rage manifested into physical form and learned harmonies.
This might genuinely be the closest religion will ever get to proving reincarnation is real because this bitch has BEEN here before. She knows something we don’t.
Nobody releases an album like Cacophony on their first try. I refuse to believe it. This is NOT her first rodeo no matter how hard reality tries to convince me otherwise.
And she released that album when she was TWENTY-FOUR.
Twenty-four.
No because you don’t get it. I was 24 eleven days ago and trust me I know what I’m talking about. At 24, most people are still forgetting to drink water throughout the day. I have a stuffed toy collection and I am 25.
Meanwhile she was out here composing feminist woodland anthems powerful enough to alter brain chemistry.
I hate talented people. Despise them.
Love her work though. She alright.
SEO Title: Paris Paloma Is 26 And “Labour” Was On Her FIRST Album Somehow
Tags: Paris Paloma, Labour, Cacophony, feminist music, female rage music, indie music, alternative music, music commentary, women in music, gothic folk, viral music, music blog, opinion piece, folk music
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