I worked in the pageant industry for a brief period of time, and as a content writer for them for quite a while. So, in my head, I’d like to believe I know a thing or two about fashion. And while modern styling is very… subjective, there are a few trends humanity has witnessed that should’ve genuinely been burnt at conception.
Today, we talk about them.
1. Low Rise Jeans
No. Absolutely not. They have never looked flattering on anyone except maybe Rachel McAdams, and last I checked, you do not qualify as Regina George.
Low-rise jeans don’t even look comfortable. They look like a constant fear of accidentally violating public decency laws.
2. Whatever Kendall and Kylie Were Wearing to the Met Gala
Yes, I get it. The human body is beautiful. The female body especially. Art, expression, empowerment, whatever speech Tumblr gave you.
But the aggressively pointed nipples need to go. Preferably to Venus. To burn there.
3. Baggy Clothes
I genuinely do not know why these became a trend. Comfortable? Absolutely. I support comfort.
But fashion?
No.
You look like a missing child wrapped in curtain fabric.
4. Crocs
Ew. Just… ew.
Are they comfortable? Yes.
Do I understand why people wear them? Also yes.
Will I still judge them? With consistency.
5. Any Heel Below 4 Inches
They don’t look elegant. They don’t look powerful. They look confused.
Tiny heels look like someone started designing a real heel and gave up halfway through. Like a caricature version of footwear.
–700/10.
6. Acrylic Nails with Heavy Stones and 3D Designs
At some point, it stops being a manicure and starts becoming interior decoration.
How do you function with those things? How do you text? Open doors? Fight people properly?
7. Peep-Toe Heels
Why do boob cleavages get so much criticism when THIS is an accepted fashion statement?
Your toes are literally peeking out at me like a donkey’s tooth.
8. “All Black” Outfits Being Called Fashion
Wearing all black is not automatically a fashion statement.
That’s like claiming you can cook when the only thing you know how to make is Maggi. Minimal effort. Maximum self-importance.
Please diversify.
9. Tiny Earrings
These are actually fine. I just personally hate how they look on my face, so unfortunately we as a society will be boycotting them.
I don’t make the rules. I just enforce them.
10. Anything See-Through
If you desperately want to show everything, then commit to the bit.
Do not wear a mosquito net and pretend it counts as clothing. Either wear the outfit properly or just arrive emotionally prepared for prison.
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