shreyalogy.com

I did something stupid today and was feeling like a complete idiot, but then I remembered — at least I’m not a world renowned serial killer.

Because why do normal people doubt themselves while serial killers out there exist like they created God from their own rib?

So I decided, instead of judging me for making a dumb little “human” mistake, I shall judge a few more serial killers. And while I’m at it, I should write about it so other humans with human feelings can feel less stupid about themselves too.

If you ask me, shaming serial killers qualifies as public service. It’s the mental health initiative of Shreyalogy. It’s my CSR project.

Without further ado, welcome to Part 3 of Dumbest Ways Serial Killers Got Caught.

1. Joel Rifkin Got Taken Down by a Missing License Plate

Joel Rifkin was a serial killer of the late 80s–early 90s era. His victims were mostly prostitutes. He’d kill and dismember them, remove their teeth and fingertips. You know the kind.

Anyway, so he had apparently murdered seventeen such women. Never caught, never even suspected.

Until his last victim.

He picked up Tiffany Bresciani in Manhattan, in his car. She was with her boyfriend, punk rock musician Dave Rubinstein of hardcore punk band Reagan Youth at the time, and told him she’d be back in 20 minutes.

When she didn’t return, he called the police. Told them about the car that had picked up Tiffany.

Four days later, police found a car with a similar description, without a license plate.

That rang the alarm bells.

They signalled the driver, our killer, to pull over.

He didn’t.

Because well, he had a dead body with him 🙂

Anyway so when he didn’t pull over, the police had to chase him down for about half an hour.

Then this bitch rammed his car into a light pole.

The police searched his car and found Tiffany’s body.

Personally, I wouldn’t use my own car to kidnap or pick up my murder victims.

Especially when they’re with someone.

But that’s just me.

At least now you know why this guy didn’t get a movie made on him.

2. Richard Ramirez Got Caught by People Who Read the News

Richard Ramirez, better known as the Night Stalker, spent months terrorizing California during the 1980s.

Police were desperately trying to identify him. Then they finally released his photograph to the public.

Now, if I discovered that my face was suddenly on every newspaper in the country and I was America’s most wanted man, I would probably stay indoors.

Richard apparently had other plans.

This man casually wandered into East Los Angeles like everything was normal.

Unfortunately for him, people had eyes.

Someone recognized him.

Then another person recognized him.

Then approximately the entire neighborhood recognized him.

What followed can only be described as a spontaneous community-building exercise.

Residents chased him through the streets.

People hit him.

People tackled him.

People blocked his escape.

One guy reportedly smashed him over the head with a metal bar.

At that point, Ramirez wasn’t being hunted by police anymore. He was being hunted by democracy.

By the time officers arrived, the public had basically completed the arrest and were waiting for management.

Imagine spending months evading one of the biggest manhunts in American history only to get defeated by people who happened to read the newspaper that morning.

3. Peter Sutcliffe Got Pulled Over

Peter Sutcliffe, also known as the Yorkshire Ripper, murdered at least thirteen women across England.

For years, thousands of police officers investigated the case.

Thousands.

Entire task forces.

Massive manhunts.

Endless interviews.

And after all that, how was he caught?

Traffic police.

I’m serious.

In January 1981, officers noticed Sutcliffe’s car parked in a suspicious location with fake license plates.

Not murder evidence.

Not a witness.

Not a groundbreaking forensic breakthrough.

Fake plates.

When they questioned him, things quickly started unraveling.

Turns out one of Britain’s most notorious serial killers had spent years avoiding capture only to get caught because he couldn’t legally register a car.

Imagine surviving one of the largest criminal investigations in British history and then getting folded by vehicle administration.

The DMV sends its regards.

4. Arthur Shawcross Couldn’t Stop Visiting Crime Scenes

Arthur Shawcross murdered multiple women around New York during the late 1980s.

Then he made a mistake that every true crime documentary warns criminals not to make.

He got obsessed with himself.

Investigators began noticing that Shawcross seemed to have an unusual habit of hanging around locations connected to the murders.

Sir.

What are you doing there?

The police started watching those areas.

And there he was.

Again.

And again.

And again.

At some point investigators must have been looking at each other like, “Is he aware we’re investigating these murders?”

Imagine spending years trying to avoid detection only to repeatedly show up at the scenes of your own crimes like you’re checking Google reviews.

Eventually police followed him, gathered evidence, and connected him to the killings.

The man practically subscribed to his own investigation.

5. Rodney Alcala Went on a Dating Show

Every now and then true crime produces a story that sounds completely fake.

This is one of those stories.

Rodney Alcala was a serial killer.

He was also a contestant on a television dating show called The Dating Game.

Not before the murders.

During them.

This man was actively killing women and simultaneously thought, “You know what would be fun? National television.”

And somehow it got worse.

He won.

A woman named Cheryl Bradshaw selected him as her date.

Fortunately, after meeting him backstage, she immediately got bad vibes and refused to go out with him.

Which may be the greatest display of intuition in recorded history.

Years later, investigators linked Alcala to multiple murders.

Imagine being such a red flag that a stranger rejects you after voluntarily choosing you on television.

That’s honestly impressive.

6. Lonnie Franklin Jr. Lost to Free Pizza

Lonnie Franklin Jr., known as the Grim Sleeper, managed to avoid police for decades.

Investigators suspected him but couldn’t quite nail down the evidence they needed.

Specifically, they needed his DNA.

So they got creative.

An undercover officer approached Franklin pretending to be connected to a movie project.

The two chatted.

Hung out.

Ate together.

And Franklin happily discarded items that contained his DNA.

The police collected them.

DNA matched.

Case closed.

Now, imagine successfully avoiding capture for over twenty years.

Twenty.

Years.

Only to lose because somebody offered you food.

Not a dramatic car chase.

Not a high-tech surveillance operation.

Lunch.

One of America’s most elusive serial killers was ultimately defeated by complimentary refreshments.

Honestly, this is why my mother taught me not to accept food from strangers.

7. Jeffrey Dahmer Let a Victim Escape

Jeffrey Dahmer spent years getting away with horrific crimes.

Then he made the mistake of underestimating one of his intended victims.

A man named Tracy Edwards found himself trapped in Dahmer’s apartment but managed to stay calm enough to gain his trust.

Eventually he convinced Dahmer to loosen the restraints.

The second he got an opportunity, he ran.

He found police officers and told them what had happened.

Now here’s the thing.

Police actually went back to Dahmer’s apartment expecting a relatively straightforward situation.

Instead they walked into what can only be described as the world’s worst surprise inspection.

Within minutes they discovered evidence exposing years of crimes.

The entire operation collapsed almost immediately.

For someone obsessed with controlling every detail, it’s remarkable how quickly everything fell apart once a victim got away.

Turns out serial killers, much like badly written group projects, tend to unravel the moment somebody starts talking.

Final Thoughts

So if you’re currently beating yourself up because you sent an embarrassing text…

Or accidentally called your teacher “mom”…

Or waved back at someone who definitely wasn’t waving at you…

Please remember:

You are competing in a world where serial killers have been caught because of:

• Missing license plates
• Fake license plates
• Free pizza
• Dating shows
• Crime scene tourism
• Entire neighborhoods deciding they’ve had enough

You’re doing okay.

And even if you’re not, at least you’ve never gone on national television while secretly being a serial killer.

The bar is low.

But it exists.

And today, you’ve cleared it.

Congratulations.