Tag: satire
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The Emperor Who Declared War on the Sea (And Lost. Obviously.)
I love a man with a plan. I love it even more when the plan is insane, the man has unlimited resources, and absolutely nobody around him says “hey, maybe don’t.” Today’s specimen: Caligula, Roman emperor, certified menace, and the only military commander in recorded history to formally declare war on the ocean. Yes. The…
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The Shreyalogy Manifesto: Justice for Babies at Last
I may not know what I’m doing with my life right now, but I do know for sure that one day I’ll be a dictator. And that day, the evil kingdom of adults is destined to fall. Did you throw cheese slice at your baby for laughs? EXECUTED. Did you show your baby your plate…
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6 Reasons Babies Would Be Excellent Serial Killers
Society has spent centuries making one catastrophic mistake. We have collectively decided that babies are harmless. Why? Because they’re small. Because they’re cute. Because they occasionally fall over while attempting to stand. Apparently that’s all the evidence humanity needs. Well, as one of the world’s leading experts in both babies and making things up, I…
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Funny Things I’ve Said Recently That Sound Horrible Out of Context
Look, I get it, I’m a little self-obsessed, but honestly, who wouldn’t be? Keep yourself in my shoes and you’d know how hard it is not to be a fan. Because tell me why I use about 0B of my brain before speaking and somehow everything that comes out of my mouth is sitcom-worthy. I’m…
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The Honest Internet Dictionary: What Social Media, Algorithms and Viral Posts Really Mean
The Honest Internet Dictionary Language has a funny habit of lying to us. It wraps ordinary things in impressive words so they sound more complex, more important, or more mysterious than they really are. But if we strip away the branding and the tech jargon, the internet becomes much easier to understand. So I decided…
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The Honest Dictionary: 12 Words That Need New Names (Shreyalogy Edition)
The Honest Dictionary: Patch Update for Human Language By Shreyalogy Language is an old operating system. It was installed centuries ago and no one has properly updated it since. The result is a dictionary full of words that politely describe things that are, in reality, much less polite. So here is a small software update…
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The Honest Dictionary: Words the Way They Actually Work
Language is fascinating. Over centuries, humans have carefully built a vocabulary to describe the world around us. Words were polished, definitions were refined, and meanings were made to sound respectable. Unfortunately, reality did not cooperate. So here is a small attempt to fix that problem. This is The Honest Dictionary — where words are defined…